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| My pudding at Pause Gourmand - Vicki, we'll go there when you come over, it's fab!! |
Sooner or later boaters’
conversation will generally turn to the toilet.
It’s a subject close to our hearts, though closer to our bums in
reality, and frankly, you’re quite lucky that I’ve skirted around it for so
long on the blog! After cruising down a
flight with another boat for a day, you may not remember the name of the boat
or her crew but you’ll remember what kind of toilet she has and any
misfortunate happenings surrounding it for the rest of your life.
For the non-boaters amongst
you a bit of toilet background first to set the scene…. There are various types
of toilet on boats:
Sea Toilet: This is the
simplest toilet; you do the deed, pull the lever and the waste drops straight
out of the boat into the sea. You are
not allowed these toilets on the canal, as with no movement in the water – can you
imagine!
Cassette Toilet: This is
similar to a portaloo. You do the deed,
push the button and the waste drops into a cassette, which you then take when
full, to a special disposal point and pour down the drain into the main sewage
system.
Pump-out toilet: This works
like a normal toilet, as with the cassette toilet, except the waste is
collected in a large holding tank and pumped out when full at pump-out stations
by a ‘pooh-sucky’ machine (name courtesy of Pip!). Some toilets macerate the waste on its way to
the tank, others are just straight dump-through.
Composting toilet: This
separates the liquid from the solids and the liquid can simply be used to water
the hedges along the canalside (yes, this is legal) whilst the solids are left
in a box below the toilet to decompose. Once
suitably composted, you dig a hole in woods somewhere and bury it.
There are many pros and cons
for each system, hence the large amount of discussion about them amongst the
boating community. For the record, we
have a macerator pump-out toilet as we prefer a ‘pooh-sucky’ machine doing the
work rather than taking our waste for a walk along the canal to the nearest
elsan disposal.
We have always had a bit of
toilet trouble in that our gauge showing the tank’s status has never really
worked, so we never knew when we were full or not and resorted to just judging
it by a safe amount of time. In April
Jim fitted a new, simple gauge and a red light would come on when we needed a
pump out (how long we had after the light came on to be worked out by trial and
hopefully not too much of an error).
This worked successfully and the light came on usually around the three
week mark which was in line with our pump-out timings previously, so we had a
stress-free season in terms of the bog.
We pumped out before heading
to France – didn’t relish the thought of all that muck sloshing about as she
swang from the crane – and after about three weeks looked for the light to come
on. Four weeks on, it still hadn’t come
on and we thought there must be a problem with the gauge, and as we were
heading away for a couple of weeks over Christmas decided we should do a pump
out anyway. We’d mentioned pump-outs when
we arrived at the port and with slight surprise at our request were told that
there ‘might’ be someone who knows how the machine works……. So we spoke with Chris and Liz next door and
they confirmed what we’d already read elsewhere and had suspected was the way
to do it. Although it is illegal in
France to dump your raw sewage into the waterways, most of the boats have sea
toilets, so the waste goes straight into the river…. Chris and Liz, like us, have a holding tank
which needs pumped out, and under the cover of darkness they just pumped out
into the river.
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| I wonder if this wee chap knows what he's swimming in. |
So, on the Tuesday before
Christmas, after a few drinks with Chris and Liz, and under the cover of
darkness, we got our new self-pump machine out of the gas locker and connected
it up. It felt as if it was pumping and
there was gurgling from the hose into the river so we reckoned it was doing the
job – as it was dark we couldn’t quite see, and given the nature of the job,
didn’t want to look too closely with a torch.
We got the water hose switched on and put water into the tank to slosh
it out, and pumped again until we reckoned it must be empty (and we were too
knackered to pump any more!). We put the
kit away and I went back onboard, where there was a faint red glow from behind
the electrics cupboard door…..yep….. the light was on, indicating the tank was
full!!! As it hadn’t been on before the
pump out and had now come on after the pump out we immediately assumed it was a
problem with the gauge. I went to where
the gauge is and shoogled it about a bit (couldn’t get it out completely),
believing it maybe just had something stuck on it (apologies to the squeamish
amongst you). But the light stayed on.
It was still on a couple of
days later, so I insisted that we try the pump out again, that maybe being
pissed and doing it in the dark meant we’d misjudged how well we’d pumped. So we pumped out again, in the dark but sober
this time, but the light remained on. We
were pretty sure we’d pumped out as we could smell it and there was a gurgling
from under the water where the end of the hose was, and we could see waste in
the little glass bit they kindly put on the pump-out hose connector so you can watch
your week’s dinners go by……
So, confident that the tank
was empty we headed off, leaving the little red light glowing – well it was
Christmas……
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| Fab Christmas pressie from the Roberstons |
On our return the red light
welcomed us back on board and we continued on with life aboard, not really
doing very much to be honest but managing to fill our days doing nothing. Well I did.
Mike was doing another bit of work having got the main bit out of the
way. Then one day I went to the
loo. The macerator made a loud gurgle
and then after the flush had finished I could hear water running somewhere
inside the boat. I squealed!! “The tank’s full and overflowing!!!!”. And it was.
It was so full, when I had flushed it, the contents of the tank had
found the only place to go was up the air vent pipe through the carbon filter
and out the gap between the filter holder and its cap, back down the outside of
the pipe and onto the floor.
I got gloves on and started
mopping up under the floor under the drawers where it had gathered while Mike
got the pump out kit ready. I then heard
Mike squeal, “Bloody Hell!!! It’s coming out the side….!!” As he’d removed the brass screwtop to the
tank on the outside, a surge of sewage met him as it made its escape from its
cramped confines and trickled over the gunwhales and into the Yonne.
Yuk.
We had no option but to pump
out in broad daylight, but this time we could see what we were doing and the
pump itself felt different – much more purchase on the lever as we pushed it
back and forth – and we could see it coming out the other end and disappearing
off into the river. We rinsed and
pumped, rinsed and pumped, then cleaned everywhere up and put the kit
away. Somewhat shellshocked and slightly
horrified, we went back on board.
The red light was out. The
gauge was working perfectly. We just
hadn’t pumped out at all the first couple of times, but filled the tank with
water and then continued using it, which would have been why we’d been plagued with
a bit of a smell too.
It’s been two weeks now and
all is quiet and smell-free on board.
And that’s probably the most
excitement for the last couple of weeks.
It’s been very cold the last couple of days so our wood pile is going
down, but we think we’ll have enough to last til we move off at the beginning
of April. We’re off skiing next week,
which I’m pleased about as I’m getting itchy feet now, having been moored in
the same place since 1 December. Mike
has begun planning our route for the summer which makes the feet itch even
more!
We did the French thing today
and went out for a lovely lunch with Chris and Liz, so I hope some pics of our
puddings to make up for the horrible toilet story.
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| Mike's Passion Fruit and dark chocolate on a bed of fresh nougat. |
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| I have no idea what Chris's was - looks fantastic though! |
